Before I read a book catalog today, I never before realized that psychologists have made a study of people who tell lies. An entire book is available to analyze why people tell lies. Lies are a curious thing and I would like to discuss them, inasmuch as I have run into quite a few people who tell lies, lately.
First of all, some lies start out as bragging. A person will claim to speak seven languages fluently, when, in essence, that person speaks their native language and one word of six others – you know, like … sayonara, Guten Morgen, ciao, comida, nyet (sp?), au revoir, and “woof.”
Secondly, the person may brag about their family of origin’s wealth, such as their father raising a barn full of Thoroughbred horses that ran in the KY derby, when in fact, there was one broken-down old gelding in the barn, and a rambunctious, wild and untrained, three year old gelding. (Geldings don’t breed, as their “parts” have been altered).
Then, there are people who lie to cover up mistakes, by assigning blame to other people, named or unnamed, such as saying, “I am the victim here.” The proverbial “They” s______ (fill in the blank) me over” statement is used. I heard this recently from someone who has been arrested several times, in the last month alone.
There are lies of intent to mislead, but there are also inadvertent lies that are misstatements of fact, rather than intentional misrepresentations. Sometimes, scholarly “guessing,” that gets carried away, before facts are checked, can lead to this kind of lie. There are also lies, in print, that are just stupid mistakes or “typos.”
Then, every society has myths. The George Washington/ cherry tree story is one myth; the Betsy Ross/ American flag story is another. A more recent one is the tale of quilts being used on the Underground Railroad. People believe these stories because they fill a cultural void, or because they are repeated so often, believers come to be accept them as fact, when, indeed, the opposite is the case.
Children lie to their parents when they tell half-truths, or when they try to cover up something that they know would not have their parents’ approval. That is typical teenage behavior and part of the need for children to separate themselves from their parents and make their own choices … a step toward becoming an adult. Telling lies or half-truths is not the ideal, but it happens. Suddenly, a daughter, who has insisted that she and her boyfriend have not done anything besides hold hands, may show up expecting a baby. Oops! Everything becomes abundantly clear, at that moment. Some deception cannot be kept a secret forever.
I am just amazed that anyone would want to write a whole book about liars, but I can see the usefulness of such a volume. We always try to understand the psychology of deception, particularly when we have been the victims of it. At least three relationships (of mine) have been terminated, by me, in the past five years, when I found out that the person whom I had trusted, and/or loved, had been deceptive, unforgivably deceptive. Oddly enough, the truth was discovered in online files.
My mother used to say that there is such a thing as a “white lie.” I can’t think of any examples at the moment, but supposedly a “white lie” does not hurt anyone. On the other hand, a real lie hurts not only the person who is telling that lie by giving them a guilty conscience, but also the person who is trusting them to tell the truth. It is a no-win situation. Personally, I have no tolerance for liars.
So, that is my scoop, and my thoughts on the matter. I can’t change the world, although sometimes, I wish I could. I just surely wish that people would get out of the habit of telling lies. It’s a real downer when the truth is finally revealed.
Patricia Cummings
