The love of reciting ailments is growing more dear
When we were kids, we would wake up in the morning and decide what we’d do for the day. As young adults, we might have done some of these activities: walk the baby, do the housework, go bowling or swimming, work on an oil painting, visit friends, read, sew, go shopping, and/or go to work!
As baby-boomers, many of us wake up to pain: Backaches, leg aches, all-over aches, and a myriad of other problems. Just when one issue seems to be resolved, two more take its place.
Much as we might wish to remain upbeat and not bore our associates with our health complaints, when the opportunity to whine presents itself, let’s face it, most of us do. I’m referring to the female population, but come to think of it, I had several uncles who seemed to relish their recitations of ailments.
I believe the problem starts when someone says, “How are you?” The accepted answer is, “Fine, thanks. How are you?” There should be no mention of your pet goldfish taking its last breath, your dog being run over by a wild kid on a bicycle, or the aggravation of young people constantly littering the sidewalk with candy and cigarette wrappers.
However, people, including me, take the question, “How are you?” too seriously. We reflect for a moment and then say something like, “I’m fine, although I have not slept well lately, my large toe is swollen, and a mosquito bit me, leaving a swollen lump on my ankle that “itches” to beat the band.”
Those three little words, “How are you?” can unleash a veritable assault of words heaped upon the unsuspecting soul who asked the question, leaving him or her to shift from one foot to the other, eyes rolling back into unconsciousness.
I vote that we avoid those three words altogether, but now the conundrum is to choose a greeting as a replacement. “What’s up?” sounds fresh, and opens one up for some unexpected comebacks. “How’s it going?” (How’s what going?”). “What’s happening?” makes it sound like there should be something happening, and if not, you are pretty durned boring.
Like everyone else, I don’t know what to say to greet people. I only know that the words, “How are you?,” open Pandora’s Box. If you use them, beware. The result may be more than expected, and after listening to a litany of complaints, your toe may begin to twinge, your ankle will be in need of scratching, and you may be sorry you asked.
My rule of thumb: If you can avoid it, never ask anyone over the age of 45, how they are. They just might tell you. Unless you are a doctor who is being paid to listen, you may be counting the seconds as to when the ailing person will just be silent. Praise God for silence.
Be well.
Patricia Cummings, … Don’t Get Me Started On My List! …
Quilter’s Muse
